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What to know about dating a recovering alcoholic

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“But if the sober couple uses the tools of the 12 steps and applies them to their relationship, they can find themselves in a better partnership than most.

Though they might have a higher sensitivity to critical comments, they also have access to tools that can help them to be both loving and kind and honest.

Some red flags include talking about moving in together (or even marriage) after just a few dates, contacting you incessantly, showing up outside your job or therapy sessions unexpectedly and repeatedly, and seeming sad or uncomfortable when you want to spend time with just your friends or family without them.

Red flags include checking your phone without your permission, going through your email, continually accusing you of cheating, accusing your friends of wanting to sleep with you, and assuming that if you haven’t cheated already, you will soon.

There’s an old joke in recovery circles that goes: how do you know when a date between two sober alcoholics has gone well?

Punch line: They move in together before it's over.

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Relationships can be a struggle even both people are healthy and grounded. While a wound to the self-esteem for those who are strong emotionally and established in their lives can cause them to have a bad day, that same wound to someone who is still trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in a world of sobriety can be a death blow.And second, it’s much easier to date someone who speaks the same language.” Bryan thinks about it for a second before adding, “Some will say it’s two mentally ill people going out with each other, but I think many of us that are sober can work through our disease in order to have a healthy relationship.” According to Melody Anderson, a family and addiction expert in Los Angeles, if both parties are working a solid program of recovery, they can have even better chances than non-alcoholics of a successful partnership.“All relationships are difficult—that’s just a fact,” she says.By the time you finish reading this handy guide, you will be armed with several strategies for effectively dating somebody who is now in recovery.Meet Shelley and Steve Shelley is 32 years old and lives in San Diego.How can you tell if someone you are dating – or considering dating – is a threat to your ability to remain sober?